If there is one thing I have learned in my imperfect search for what is most true, it is that you cannot excise people out of your life. While some relationships come to a natural end (such as friends who graduate from high school and do not keep in touch), it is never possible to kill a relationship. If you try, it haunts you–in eliminating one problem, you have invited another which tends to be much worse.
A hard subject–These are my thoughts, for what they are worth. Read at your own risk!
If you have the most rotten person in the world as your parent or sibling, you have to learn how to make peace with that fact. You have to learn how to be their prayer advocate before God, or find some constructive role to play in their life, even if you do not speak with that person.
How does a parent feel when an adult child tries to cut him out of his life? It seems objectively wrong, something against nature.
Now, to make a hard subject even harder. . .
It is the very same logic behind eliminating pregnancies. Just as a parent does not want a child to cut him out of his life, so too a child should not be excised out of a parent’s life. Once there is a little life attached to a mother, it is against nature to eliminate it, no matter how upset the person is to be pregnant.
There are many young girls and women who do not want their child-in-utero. But there are many adults who do not want their parents. They want to get them out of their life. Adults should not get parents out of their lives; they should find something responsible and constructive to do with their relationship. Likewise, a woman or girl with an unwanted pregnancy should not eliminate the pregnancy. She should find something responsible to do with that relationship.
Many people, from popes to hippies to new age gurus, talk about a civilization of love and peace on earth.
This will never happen until people learn to make peace with and find genuine solutions for problematic children and parents and siblings and bosses and institutions and nations. We cannot attack them, kill them or eliminate them. It brings about more problems than solutions. Divorce is not a real solution to a problematic marriage. Terrorism is not a real solution to a problematic government. Abortion is not a real solution to an unwanted pregnancy.
Oh, how I do long for a civilization of love!
Again, sorry it’s such a heavy topic! But it’s important! I have a long way to go to get to the bottom of it, but this is my inchoate thought for now!