spiritual goal for the year

    Every year, I choose one thing that I need to work on, and make it my goal for the year.  The year is the liturgical year, which begins with Advent.  So, two weeks ago I began my new year, pursuing my new spiritual goal: joyful trust.
     Trust in God is hard for me.  I like to see the blueprints, the road map.  I don’t currently see where my life is headed–will my book ever get published?  Will it be well received?  What impact will that have on my life?  What will my family life be like in a few years?  What needs to happen for me to feel like my life is a success?  Some days these questions are just so hard for me.
     So I am happily taking on “trust” as my year’s goal.  But even that word sounds gloomy to me.  It sounds macabre, like I am walking through the valley of the shadow of death!  So, I have renamed my goal, “Joyful trust.”  I am seeking the kind of trust that my children have.  They are happy, knowing that things will basically turn out well for them, because Ron and I are working so hard to ensure their happiness, safety, and personal fulfillment.
    I, too, want to have a childlike, joyful trust that my Father has a GREAT plan for me, whether the fulness of it be experienced here or in heaven.  I want to joyfully embrace what life brings, knowing that it all works to the fulfillment of God’s purpose (Rom. 8:28).
    What I want more than anything is to be a “saint”: not a canonized saint, but what the Bible means when it talks about the “saints.”  I want to be one of the people of God, whose whole life is reborn and renewed and is living in the Spirit of God.  I want every aspect of my life and heart to be sanctified, and I want to be totally purified of all that is evil, ugly and sinful.  I want to shine in the world, shedding the light of Christ wherever I go.  I want my small, maternal actions to be big, holy work that makes a difference in the kingdom of God.