My little project is moving ahead well! Mass was so good this morning. I could actually feel my stubborn heart soften. I could actually feel my middle-aged, pompous self become like a little child. I could actually feel my hopelessness that my needs will never be fulfilled be traded out for childlike trust that God will supply all my needs, and that they are all found on the altar, in the Eucharist, and in the presence of the Holy Spirit that will be with me at every moment.
My earnest prayer is that God would help me to look to Him unceasingly throughout the day. He is my Father, and I am His baby. That seeking God is a grace. It is unnatural. It is not human nature to look to God to supply our need every moment–at least my nature is to be as self-reliant, competent and industrious as I can be. To my discredit, I am such a good Pelagian (heretic of the Early Church)! I am imploring Jesus, through His good mother, to give me the grace to become, for the first time, a good Christian.
Here is a quote about how to be a good Christian:
St. Louis de Montfort
Third, true devotion to Our Lady is holy, that is, it leads us to avoid sin and to imitate the virtues of Mary. Her ten principal virtues are: deep humility, lively faith, blind obedience, unceasing prayer, constant self-denial, surpassing purity, ardent love, heroic patience, angelic kindness, and heavenly wisdom.
Oh my goodness: how I am begging for these ten virtues!